Hard Week For a Soft Heart....

The week just started and the word "assignments" are always ringing in my ear. I'm Fucking fed up about all those and the lecturer is just one piece of shit...maybe lower than shit. You get what I mean...Adding some other worries I have...my own space, for my own life and my own feelings.

I feel like breaking the walls, throwing everything in front of me...my sarcasm was high, my heart beats faster, tears start flowing and I'm just broke....literally................................................................
I've no where to turn....as I'm facing south now.

I have a life where I'm boxed up in my own world...
I feel so fragile...more than you can ever think...My WHOLE life...I've been shattered so many times and people don't realize it. I gather my pieces, fix them back...just to let it be shattered again...

I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes

Like children in a building I can't stand steady

Fixing myself now with overdose of Numb/encore and Petrified.....heals me...
As I hear this comforting heavy tones...I feel that I'm alone...here....that the world is against me...hitting me in ways I can't never imagine....better stop...thinkin....byez...

Satu Hari, Hari Raya...

Finally I spend a night out with friends....though we didn't go clubbing but Izzat,Kayal, Steph and I went over to Syah's house for some feast!!!

But earlier in the day first of all, I spend my morning playing futsal with old friends...man I sucked so badly....even had a cramp during the game and my friends thought I was play acting...aiyoyo!!! Scored ONE goal only and ole a few (lucky I still have that skill bonded in me)...good enough for a day. But after the game, I strated to limp around since my right calf was injured after d cramp....

Back to the evening that I enjoyed...or should I say OVER-enjoyed!!!
The journey is the best as Izzat drove so pussily wild. It's so nice of you to pick me up and send me home...thanks bro...will spend you makan soon ya.
He picked me up around 6.40 and we reach around 7 something...haha...it was raining heavily and jammed all over. Not to mention the water that Izzat had to ran over.

Food was great!!! Though still no rendang but the sambal kacang, lemang, laksa and "dates juice" were nice! Even the kuih and chips were nice....the night out is just so nice!!!!! Today I really feel 18...wahaha...like small boy only right?

After that, we went outside and played crackers...haha, Syah with his tricks...so crazy...the gals were running into the house....especially the Prom Queen...ngek ngek ngek...
Then soon after the Prom Queen left...Izzat, Kayal and I left for home too....Man, Izzat is one very the forgetful person...

Keke....It's a perfect night out for someone like me....and some people.... =p =D keke...

Love it!!!! oya...one more thing...songs on the radio really ROCK!!!!! for today only la....haha

Music Video:

Music Video:

TGI Fridays...

Though When There's Class In The Morning...OMG It's Friday...


Hate that word?
ya...but live with it though...haha...still happy...smiling so happily...so joyful, ecstatic, cloud 9 plus 9!!!

haha...it's such a great day!!!Friday,Lots of it...flying in the air...
Slept in the cinema for the first time....haha. Covenant is just a normal movie but the sound system made it cool...

By the way...I wanna make a hello list on people I saw in Pyramid today...

Suet Yen (first to see)
Andrea (long time no see)
Ban Leng (cis...)
Ken (haha)
Judith (so cantik d ar you...)
Yap (ama....kadavale)
Patrica (didn't see me)
Darrick (didn't see me)

It's so fun...thought it was far enough to run from common friends...so the wrong wei but I got to meet old friends, that's so cool!!!


(love this soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!)

Some things just went bad...it just cost so much if you really want it good....
Thought it was ok...over but just 5 minutes ago...it rose again.
It worries, I know..please don't
It's okay, far from death...
I'm alive



cadre qui câline un portrait-FOREVER!!!

Sounds So Sacred, Feel So Magnified

It's Thursday....the day I hate most when it comes to studies...aihz....
but but....I always have someone to cheer me up...always...no matter how curt it is but it makes heaven on earth.

I have birthday card from a friend so far away..so unexpected....=p
thanks....

Birthday present wrapped in!!!! That's the best among all...I love it so much!!! It's been so long since I get present and cards from friends...

This year...my loved one loves me!!!! hehe... =D so the happiness!!!



(my prezzie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Really love it!!! It's so special...properly packed in...well...at least compared to some who don't know how....haha. I almost felt the tears of joy flowing down my cheeks...

It's also been awhile since I posted my own photos on my blog...The vanity is still around....always...keke



(My sis and I at Secret Recipe Kota Kemuning)


(After my haircut...)

I'm smiling again after how many emo post below this...haha....
Though I got stuffs to worry like what I saw today....crap...
Hope it doesn't dent me for tomorrow...
Feeling so happy!!!
=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D

Late Posting: 26 October 2006

Since my internet was down...here's a late posting

Double Dose of Starbucks to Lighten My Day That Sulks


Yesterday was my day out to Aunt Nikki's house to meet Aunt Nikki herself, her maid (surprisingly), Yee Won and Haire (Yee Won's boyfriend). It was fun as we really catch up each others life, politics and gossips. We even took photos…though it wasn’t as plan that we go to Secret Recipe during tea time but we really had a good time sharing all of our stories.

But my day wasn't complete though Aunt Nikki gave me an ang pau for my birthday...Internet connection has been bad lately and it really fires me up to screw the customer consultant...Speaking of that...better download my notes now....haha..

Today was just....downhill....I woke up and I thought today will be nice...after 6 hours of suffering...But I was wrong....By the way, thanks Syah for the Java Chip in the morning...really needed it...it made me cheer up and not sleepy in class...keke...Smiled with a lot of people but that was "just the moment" happiness. After class, Syah went back to Johor...leaving me alone so I drifted in Summit till the noon class started. But I was starting to go nuts again so I went back to Starbucks to get a Caramel Frap....damn, it wasn't nice. Back at class....It was ok because there were jokes to keep me sane enough but I really don't know how I survived 6 hours of class with the same lecturer. It's a miracle… guess someone was with me, tapping my shoulder telling me everything is going to be fine....Well, at least Semm was in the afternoon class with me.

After class, he left for home...so I'm alone again...and since I've got nothing to do till my mum pick me up....I decided to cut my hair to let go of my emo-ness too. So I went to a saloon (FIRST TIME) and get things done....The best part of my first time was that my stylist is a mute (special is the better word though). It is hard if you can't communicate directly with the stylist but I really respect him...though he's different but he can still live his life as a normal person. I doubted him for a moment but as he started....I trust my hair with this person and that calmed me down. TRUSTING a person is so important because the TRUST that you put into that person gives that individual strength and confidence to be better.

After that, I spend time with a friend sharing stories to clear the dark clouds above my head. But, my friend was also emo…worst…..over a break up but we still share stuffs and we laughed about some lame jokes.

I blogged this shyt few hours ago in the computer lab but it was gone suddenly...So I blogged this shyt again now with more details I guess...maybe too much...=p but also minus a little...

Well, guess I'll stop here... I'm done…



cadre qui câline un portrait...
If you fall, I fall along...

18 is Just Another Number...

Well...finally I'm 18...woohoo...ya.....right......shit.....nothing special happened today...

no loved ones,
no friends,
nobody!.....
I woke up hindering everything...I'm so alone the whole morning waiting for the Dell technician to fix this com which is working healthy now....I 'm so emo that sounded the people that I had to talk to....but now...I'm still at home....I'm going to college soon for a reason that I myself don't know.

Life is so shaky since last week and I can say....I'm having my November period now....still so emo............
while waiting for the tech guy...I was blasting songs....and every song in the cd made me worst...I feel trap in my own home on my birthday...


Lloré tanto desde que ayer. ..so mucho dolor en mí. ..I se siente una lanza por el corazón. Duele. wanna ..I oye esas palabras. ..but que lo parece hasta ahora lejos...

Il mio cuore la chiama cosí molto. ..so molto che potrebbe cambiare delle cose...


I'm feeling so stress also at the moment...with the workload and speaker that just turns me off.

I'm off to college soon I guess...hope it can heal me being there with friends.


-Broken-

Nothing can really fix me now...Zelfs niet wat ik echt wil. ..what ik wil pijn mij, die ik hem niet heb. ..it doodt mij...

Ik ben een stervelinge ook...


Thanks to all my friends that message me even from 3 a.m. in the morning. Really miss you people...hope we can meet up soon...I feel much better letting it out in my blog...finally..I'm online again......I feel lighter now....But I'm still very deep down...


me prendre. ..I've a été l'attente. ..always volonté. ..though le soleil pourrait régler juste



first foreign-where matadors come from
second- where pizza come from
third- first thing that came to my mind are windmills

there I go...an update...thanks to my fans...so bloody concern wan....keke.....k...I'm off....



cadre qui câline un portrait

REALLY Hate this Semester!!!

Emo again....
aihz....This semester is so torturing....OB has 2 killer coursework and the first one is out!!!...my Deeparaya holidays are gone!....woo woo.....suckynya...
Lucky I have Syah,Semm and other friends who can make class interesting and easier..haha. And you for that extra boost to start my day. =)

Hmm...bout today...I went Parade alone though...but was in the bus with my friends...first time...haha...There were also other first time stuffs when I was in Parade, keke...Took me so long to like to buy the stuffs I wanted but I finally got the guts to. It might be a small thing for other people...people might laugh but...I did it...come to think of it....nothing special also...

It's Friday tomorrow and I'm still gonna have class tomorrow!!! morning class...OB...aihz
And on the 3rd day of Hari Raya...my class is as usual but my friends class are cancelled or postponed...so they have no class at all next week...aihz...gonna be so empty...imagine my classmates also won't turn up...Somebody save me!!! but hope next friday futsal is on!!!

Shock of My Life

When Sarah said that lift no.4 was just playing haunted in SEGi College, she was purely wrong... It's just some malfunction with the stupid life that SEGi used for operation....one of the slowest!!! Even the condemn lift in Summit is way faster than the college's.


Lift No.2 gave me the fright of my life today, shocking me so badly till I almost drop dead in the lift. So people...beware of lift No.2......


keke...

October's PMS is Over....I Think =P

As how emo I got yesterday....guess it's over due to the lack of sleep. Yesterday night I crashed on my bed at 10 till 5.30 in the morning. Got up and had the most WONDERFUL DAY! I forced myself to do my accounting homework. My day was filled with stars and sunshine...I'm smiling throughout the day....not on the outside but on the inside!!!

I may not stand on clouds but I'm feeling it when I'm in your arms.
I may not have a million dollars but I'm happy cause you're priceless.


cadre qui câline un portrait

I Can Fall Asleep With Those Eyes.

Morning was boring-Class was dreadful-I had a good time during lunch break-Best time of my life-Enjoyed every moment-Wish it was longer-Back to class-Lecturer is an Ahole-Fuck my mood-Gotten damn emo-Miss you like crazy-Since morning-Noon-Now-Every minute I think of you-But still emo-Stupid Ahole-Feeling empty-Still miss you-Like crazy-It hurts to be me sometimes-People I have to please-People I have to respect for nuts-Talk to people I least fancy-Why?-Sitting in com lab here next to another gal friend who is also emo-Makes things when we look at each other like shit-Friends all left for home after class-Leaving me in this white building-So painful-So lonely-The friend next to me one is as down as me...so no use la...haha-Still feel guilty because I didn't help you enough-I lack the confident-Wish I have it with me all the time and you won't be seeing what you saw today-I know I shouldn't be down about it but I can't help it-I don't want you to be left behind-To my boss, sorry I drifted so much-Wasn't paying attention-Was emo-Haha-Drifting is the better word-Keke-Hope the phone beep soon-I miss you-Oya..just remember!-Both of you-wanted stuffs but forgotten bout it-Sorry cause I didn't help you ith the book, my friend....aihz.....-And you-Make me carry so heavy for nothing-I even set a reminder to remind myself to bring it-Why am I so good to people?-I don't get the same warmth from them back-So cold...like my room last night when the air con was on-Lost sister's SIM card-So careless of me-Must be I was thinking SO MUCH this morning-Still feeling cold-But I'm still feeling a little warmth from the time where the sun shine the brightest-I feel an amber in me-I'm embracing it-Keeping it-Not letting it to go off-I can fall asleep with those eyes-


cadre qui câline un portrait

Friday 13th....everything went FINE!!!

Hmmm, Random mag is giving me work again...wa....really can't take it anymore despite the rewards that might be obtained. College timetable also sucks where I see the same lecturer 3 times in the space 27 hours. Homework also have been given by cartons!!! My new class area on the second floor is so cold and it's energy consuming.

Today...Friday, I started of my than with OB class....Obviously Boring class wei...haha. Well, I survived it and treat myself with a game of bowling but I played like shit today...scoring only 68. Hmmm, after that..I went for a movie, John Tucker Must Die. It's a cool show and I enjoyed it. =)
Finally some pleasant movies at the cinema. But guess I won't be watching much as my timetable is so jam-packed now*quoted from Allie Mun* keke...

After movies, treat myself somemore...now at Secret Recipe. haha...man...their cakes never fail to melt me...keke. That's bout the HIGHlights of my day....got to go...man, I'm so sleepy.

Life...what was it again?

What is it really about?
Since high school...I got to know many people with a different famliy than mine. They tend to share it and I listen. But as years go by, it keeps getting more & more...Is this part of my life?

As good as I can be to them, sometimes they don't realise that they're actually letting out on me. I've been so tolerate with these people but they couldn't care less bout what I feel as they felt worst...so..to them, it's just a pinch of salt. My first experience dated way back when I was form 1...being an so called good angel? doesn't really pay off especially when you try everything you can but they just don't notice a shit. All they know is that...o...that guy...I know him, He's Daniel.

So...should I continue befriending and helping them? My heart automatically tells me...go on (though I'm hurt sometimes) cause I feel God send me here for this (Part of it la at least). I love the friends I have in my life now cause they made my life so much more fun (though there's pain included).

Why am I blogging this out? Partially emo I guess...haha...but I had to let it out.
haha....kinda confusing la this life....ishhh...

New Day, New Semester, New Feeling...

Well..today was hazy as usual..Fucking Sumatera people..just because of a few hundred of natives...they're hurting millions of more worthy people that contribute to the economy and the country..To me, these nomad must be killed for good!

Ok..back to life in college...hmm, orientation was a little later so I attended 1 hour of class first. It was Malaysian Studies....haha...Mr. U, funny and fun to kutuk him =P too bad I couldn't stay the whole class. But during orientation, Emily came late so I was handed the responsibility to give a talk on Clubs & Societies. Man, I bullshit alot...haha...Later, I made the biggest mistake by stepping up to take the new FOCAD students around (it was so hard!!!) but I did get to know new friends (as usual...haha....coz I'm Daniel ma).

Then it was noon...Financial Accounting (2) class where Ms Shyamala taught us. I almost slept in her class and got hit for it...haha...




k la...com givin a lil problem and dad wanna use the com..till later people

Best Stressful Days of My Life

Life has been so fun lately though I've been going college during HOLIDAYS (which is ending this Sunday). My brother Joel, my friend Ryan, my boss Emily & Sarah, and you have all make my so much more meaningful.

I have a friend who ate another friend's spit, friend who make good jokes, friend who company me, friend who spend time with me, friend who argue with me...and lots more.


(bloody gays....what's so nice jumping on me la?)


Though my holidays are so wasted on work...but I feel its much more worth it than sitting at home rotting.

There's too much to tell and if I were to type all, it'll take ages and I don't have a blogging diarrhea like Joel. I've kinda lost the blogging mood these few days, man...September is my blogging month!!!


(lil I-Lyn...and me)

O ya..the best part is that my mom's colleague wants to get to know me...how weird...but I can't turn down a new friend right? On the other hand, she's connected through my mom... a wrong mistake in words can get into hot soup.

Life's has been good to me so far and I'm loving it!!!
It's worth the work,
It's worth the sacrifice,
It's worth it!!!
I'm loving.....