That was what I messaged to a person when I was in a horrible moody state (31st October 2006, Tuesday, 1p.m.)
...Damn it has become a chronic tumour that eats every bit of my sanity everyday. And exactly last week...7days ago from today, I was blogging about my breakdown about the FA2 assignment, which left particles of me laying around everywhere....and 168hours later from that day...is here...now....which in between was many many bad eventful crap that I wish it didn't happen. Let aside the barring issue at the moment but I'm here sulking about my next 24 hours..I know I shyt tok no action alot...but here's the only place where I can express myself*though some are left unspoken and kept in*.
My dad just emailed me asking about my studies and giving lines that I least need at this very moment..aihz...I'm not in a tip top mood of ever replying him because of who I am right now, thus I just left him my blog address in the reply (if la he wants to know everything about his son...so...hello dad if you're reading this now). It almost made me cried in the com lab....again...for the 35383458329th time haha...Feeling so heavy...presence of friends really came into handy, although it was just a hello or the least an sms. Thanks to my china guy classmate(don't know his name), Semm, and Miss T who is now in the IT office at the moment...you guys don't know that you brighten a sad bloke's life.
Being like this sucks...but it's way far from death right? keke...sometimes I think its the wrong timing and I'm not ready. The best thing is that friends just have to disturb or give lines on the wrong day...its' not that I don't shoot back..but I feel it so deep, cuts every veins and arteries in me.*Is this a sign that I'm suicidal?...hahaha*(read too many suicide articles...like in the recent MYC magazine..keke)
Well...i'm fine ok....just disspresstion...haha what a word...I just need that little something that I ain't getting...wat...actually it's alot of things....I don't know which one now...Guess me being Vendeta will be the best for everyone...
THE GREATER THE TRUST, THE GREATER THE BETRAYAL
- Alexander Luthor
It's so true....I can't believe that line didn't fall in my life sooner. Now I'm just leaving by it...to a certain extend of course...Don't wanna be crazy...though in fact I am.....kind of...unstable...haha
Thoughts within me are so wired up...coiling to its unexpected ways that it squeeze my serenity out of me.
Miss H. still cares bout me...though it's a fraction..but that's cool...thanks!!! hope you have a brighter future after this*coughs coughs*. Sorry that I've complicated matters for you...Nice and kind hearted...though sometimes the approach is a little wrong. Miss your classes though you "curse" us to fail sometimes...=p All the best!!! =D
Pernahkah kuceritakan kepedihanku?
akan berakhir malam ini
Finally..I'm feeling better...haha....blogspot really does wonders. maybe it's also because of letting out my pee...=p
I'm out....
*location: computer lab, 3.23 p.m., alone, doing assignment,listen music[chasing cars!!!]*
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