It's A Wrap...2006

January.
Hmm....I straight away started my college life right after my SPM without working or resting. Well, my first day at college which was orientation was a little awkward because I'm like the only 18 year old in my faculty at that very time...I felt so out of place and I was scared to talk to anyone around me. The first guy I talk to was Ronald Vong who is 20 years old...man, I was so chocked when he told me his age because I was talking to him as a friend I thought was a same age. By the way, few months later he left for England to study there. During that time, he when to Taiwan to visit his sick grandad and that left the friendship a little loose. And I found another friend who speaks good English....Syahfique. Since Roland was away, Syah and I became close friends.



February..
Class was starting to be boring...as I said last month...everyone are like seniors to me and I just felt intimidated. Speaking of February..isn't it Valentine's month? Oya, before that...Ms. Anita appointed me as the President Of English Society and yes I was happy about it as I was a nobody among students in high school. So, the English Society first project this year was to sell flowers on the 13th February *it was also my first time leading a project*. Well, while selling flowers, there was a "best line/poem" contest by friendx.com and I decided to participate during my break time. At the same time, I bought a rose for a gal in my class but she turned it down...ahhhh....so embarrassing right?

but but...after class, I got a call to come down to the lobby because I won something but I don't know what. Oya, that ass Kamal*my annoying classmate cum football captain* also took part, and when he saw me there also, he said that he'll win and I'll just grab second place. But to his shock...HE GOT SECOND.....and where was I? FIRST PLACE OF COURSE!!!! woo hoo!!! that made my day so much brighter again though there were practically no one at the lobby to cheer for me.



I won it!!!


March...
Err,What about March? nothing much actually...all I remember is that I bought my very first own Nike futsal shoe. College life? err....it was going as normal...oh yeah, there was the Student Council board exam at the end of the month and I thought it was a good opportunity for me to stand up..but many months later...er.....I feel like sitting down again.haha


(Shoe #1)


April....
This is the month I opened my own blog..keke. I think it's also the month where I first mingle with one of the new March intake students.....Izzat. Andy intro him to me. After then, I guess Izzat finally found his circle as he joined me and Semm. It was still slow as he was still in his on class. Besides that...it was exam seasons....I did okay for my Microecons paper but flunked my Management paper...the lecturer told it straight at my face when I handed it up in the exam hall.

On the bright side, I got my SPM rewards...another Nike futsal shoe and a blazer from Sub-zero
=D


(Shoe #2)


May.....
It was still exam season and this time I screwed up my Costing paper*but of course..i did my best*. There were also English and Business Communication papers and there was where I finally met the whole March intake students *take exams together*. There were very chinese people and fashionable people...hmmm, my friend pointed at a girl that stood out among all of them. But...I was mainly there for the exams at that time though I kinda remember who my friend pointed at....honestly actually...I was sitting behind that person and I stare at the person quite a number of times. That's why my English and Business Comm only got credit only....aikz...haha. Between all that, I got another futsal shoe again from Nike and a torn tissue on my right feet during soccer. So, all togehter now I have 3 Nike futsal shoe within half a year that I decided to kinda "give" my old Nike futsal shoe to my pet brother Garrett.
It was also my Student Council campaign month and I started of by giving a random speech on the May batch orientation where I first approach Joel...haha...



(Shoe #3)


June......
Start of a new semester, the March intake class combined with us and seriously....I wasn't happy about it at all because there were just too many Chinese Ed people damn people more noisy than 10 person of me I can tell you...I wished that they will not be in the same class as me the next semester...right on the spot...about like 3 rd class together. There was once I was just in time for Marketing class and my throne*maklumla...senior what* in class was already taken so I decided to sit next to this 2 gals who are actually sitting at my area...haha and we got to know each other...after looking so much in the exam hall, finally I hatch my balls to get to know her.


(after Moral project filming)

Well, she is an entirely different person to get to know and she doesn't realise alot about herself....Slowly, all of us*Syah,Semm,Izzat,Steph,Kayal and I* became friends thanks to me...the CONNECTOR!!!

There was also a filming for a Tv series where I said only 3 words...or was it 2?keke...

Towards the end of the month, there was an Indian Cultural show and Mr. Uthaya*LAN lecturer* bought me a jipah*indian suit* for that day. It was fun...in between it, I had to give a speech on dresscode for some LAN moral project because I was invited as the Vice President of Student Council....speaking of that...I lost in the election by 1 vote....which I think it's a blessing in disguise. Adding to that, I got to know a new friend and future boss...Ms Sarah Tan *Random Magazine editor* and Alicia Mun. She invited me into theboard as Deputy Editor...harh!!! another right man work....keke...*guess I'm still not ready to lead =p*


July.......
Seventh heaven? Hmmm, the month started off okay...like every other day in college in class. Actually nothing much happened in this month but I got closer to my friends that's for sure. I was busy doing assignments though because it's assignment season and presentation was the worst among all as the set of friends just wasn't right.... Emotions were very mixed up when I really think back about stuffs...


(Sorry I didn't get you anything)

Things really took a 360 degrees turn from then on. I also did a whole complete health check up...keke...like old man only


(What matters is inside the person...so, have a good look at mine)

August........
The 8th month of 2006 and it was a month before examinations...So I decided to call my friends out for a study group with double motives...first motive is obviously to study...keke...and well, I did succeed. The second motive was to get closer to someone and study group was the only solid reason we got closer and closer. Presentation on the other hand was ok...all assignments were ok also. I also met up with my high school classmates and my pet sister...man it was so much fun!!! Best is...I got my phone!!! woo hoo!!!


(My pet sis Afina....Cute hor..)


(at Shu Fei's birthday party)

September.........
This is THE most exciting month of the year...though it was exam month but we got 1 hell of a long study break which was 3 weeks!!! and as the study group continued...I guess it's not really the education that's growing for me but a relationship was blossoming very well!!!


(Best Movie!!!)

Thanks to 2 of my friends from the study group, I made it through the second semester without failing any subjects. The best part of this month is that I spend more time at the cinema rather than studying.


(I Lyn and I at the Leo install)


October..........
It was the start of the 3rd semester...fast semester with killing subjects and killing lecturers. The bright side was is that I got together with the gal who captured my eyes since May but we're in a different class for this semester. New friends came into my life of course...o ya...I almost forgot...Random magazine was launched on the 31st October and it was a success for me and my boss Sarah Tan as we work through our holidays to make this first issue happen!


(My first photography work for Random...and I got this "model" to do this on the college piano! )


November...........
Well, the month started dull and crappy...and it was my birthday on the first!!! Assignment season was double killing this time but I made it through though I had a bias racist lecturer biting my ass. I also got to balance every damn crap that was in my way...but my gal really kept me going through the whole month.




(my present from my beloved)

December............
Hmmm..everything is recent on my blog post...so I won't be telling much here...to sum it all up, er....it's a balanced month but towards the end of it...great!!! but I've have been eating so much...and missing my gal so much!!! hohoho...



(What a way to end the year!!!)

Well..that's is about my 2006...I know...it's not that fun after all

FEATURE ENTRY: @*%&^HaPpY AM3^%*@

Alicia Mun May May
18
Blur
Orange
Blogs 10 times more than me...

okok....
Alicia Mun May May....shares the same birthday as my mom....(gonna be so broke that day man) is a very nice gal, sweet wide small, perfect for any toothpaste television advert.

By the way...the first time I met this gal was on the Indian Cultural Day in college where she was taking down notes along with the Random Magazine editor Sarah Tan(not the VJ) and we weren't intro-ed properly and I had to make the big step to know this orang masam manis.

There were rumors flying once but it was 6 feet under not long after that. Well, anything else about this gal? she's smart....scholar student ma....and I like her art work....but the best time where we get to know each other better is when we're online together where we share lots of stories with each other....




@*%&^AM3^%*@


For now...she's no longer masam (sour) because she's so happy that*some text missing*...I'm happy for her too...2006 is about to wrap up and 2007 is coming in...she's turning 19 next month when I just turn 18 last month...c'mon la...old already...wahaha.

What made her be in my feature entry this month ahead of some other potential candidates? Well, it's because we're close and this is her month...and I hope that this feature entry is the icing on the cake for her December 2006.

Allie is a fun friend to be with....that's the bottom line *though she masam muka with me 90% of the time...haha*

Derailed...!%&!@&$^@&!$^

Exams is in 1 hour time and I'm here sitting in the computer lab blogging myself out....Well, as usual like the last semester exams...I'm so derailed and lost focus before exams all out of a sudden because someone said something.

My whole morning was okay...I'm literally in my own world as I'm so out of the circle today...everyone is at home studying...can't believe I'm like the only DIBA student in college today...sort of...

Timetable is out and its quite balanced from the good and bad. I want to do it for best of two of us...guess no one ever understands...people just look it from a common point of view. We're business students people....can't you all look at it from a bigger picture?

"Holidays" is about to start in like what...3 hours but I'm not up for it...there's alot of things in my mind that I want to do....especially some last minute work, plus Random work, plus dental appointment (tooth giving problem).

Oya..I was complaining about my allowance these few days...and today I got a raise...wahaha...but must really start to curb spending as I spend SO MUCH on Christmas shopping already. *worth the heartache and the punctured pocket*

There's just an overload of thoughts in my mind now and none of it is about exams...haha.
Alright...I'll leave for now to do some final reading....the Final "Final" reading....

My Phone Is Not A Virgin Anymore!!!

Thanks to Haritha today... I dropped my phone today...lucky it was at the library reading area where it fell on to carpet. Phew...but after that, calls can't really come in...I think it's Digi fault but I'm not ruling out the possibilities that because of the fall, it might affect my phone.

Anyways...its exam season again and I kinda screwed my Financial Accounting 2 paper yesterday but Cost Accounting today is alright....So now I'm left with Management paper and Malaysian Studies....hoho

Today is cool....after exams I spend time with friends although it was at the boring Summit. I'm happy and relieved after Costing....thanks for being around....It really help me go through everything...I really appreciate you!!!

Guess I'll leave it short for now...my dad just sounded me again for the phone bill...killed my mood....keke....

Silver Ethics

It was December 5th yesterday....o yes it was a special day for me of course. Though it's still blooming but I can feel that it flourished very well. It was a happy short day together though exams are boggling all our minds. But I spent mine....like now...blogging and preparing a handmade gift (which it was so long ago since I did one). It was like last time as I really sketch a proper nice plan before doing, this time around was spontaneous!!! And I name the art Silver Ethics because its mostly in silver (my favorite color).

Ya...it might not look as good as how my college's design student can do but when I did this art, I expressed myself and let it all out. Of course the casing came along with a CD but that's up to the other person to write about it...haha.



*Silver Ethics*

-nielgoh-


Well, do rate this art in the comment from the scale of 1-10 (to keep it simple). keke... =D

Depression: Month 2, Level 3, Stage 4

Month started of with so many things I needn't to know about. Funny, some humans are born with tens of thousands of faces and are somehow "liked" by the surrounding. But on the bright side, I heard stuffs that are surprisingly good but...it's just the moment.

I just finished two games of bowling and I sucked so badly that I injured myself (skin came off...arm can't move)...but I can still type right now...what irony. What happened today diminished my mood to study and things just gets worst by the minute, it makes smiling so much harder.

No chocolate, no food, no drink can lift me from this...filled with hatred, I'm starting to think I should go on a murder frenzy. I got to "control" what I blog...though is my blog....cause there are some scumbags (as how I've mention at the first two line) who just can't keep their mouth shut. If you hate me that much...I guess you have to find better tactics to break me before you are the one who is broken.

And some stuffs just have to be shoveled back into my mind though I put it aside. It just can't leave me alone.

FEATURE ENTRY $BONUS$ *USB* *Izzaty*

Well since it's my birthday month...I guess having to person who are special this month is nothing wrong right?haha....Ya I know that the feature entry came in late this month but...its still November now right...another 3hours though to December...haha

First of all I shall start with Mr. Uthaya Sankar SB.
The one
The only
...LAN lecturer in our college who ended his service today which is 30th November 2006 with reason that are quite forbidden to public...haha


(The man himself)


He's a man with capability, responsibility, curiosity and with limited left hand ability...haha...chill k sir...don't ambil hati kayz when you read this. What he has done for me? Well, for starters he intro himself to Syah at first because he was intrigued with his shirt...then only we get to know each other. During the college's Indian Cultural Day, he bought me a Jipah which costs a lot. I mean...which lecturer ever buys their student gifts?
He even loaned me Rm 300 with no questions asked...cool huh..
Because of this man, I am where I stand in college today...on top of the food chain...haha (I know alot of people in college because of him...and attitude has changed...along with my England...modified a little already...haha)
Though we had arguments because both of us had some screwed up attitude but life can be boring without him (no one to bully...haha)
His LAN class is moderately ok, enjoyable though..haha
Too bad he's leaving because of avoidable reasons but well, things changes as time passes. All the BEST USB...haha.



Next will be Izzat Izhar a.k.a Izzaty a.k.a Semm's gay partner
I know this mordern Malay dude because of Andy around March...Then later in the second semester we got along as he joined Semm, Syah and I. Slowly we got closer as he smokes also...ish.....haha
He's nice, friendly, approachable, lazy, funny, blur, handsome and lots the many more...haha
Most importantly is that he's the first friend that saw my relationship bloom and he made some stuffs possible like fetching me to Syah's Raya open house...thanks bro, I owe you one (out of the many...keke)
Now we're in different class but he still longs for Semm when he wants to smoke...haha. By the way..he's 18 also..just like me but of course elder than me.

(he's the guy on the left with the long hair...)

When It's Least Expected..It Pays off!!!

After the whole month with mixture of sunshine and rain....It just had to get worst early this morning as my sleeping hours were filled with sadness and fear. As my mom woke me up when I arrived opposite college, I felt so down...fearing to see what lies ahead as the dream wasn't pleasant at all.

So...after a few minutes wasted to cross the road, I reached in front of college but I took a good look around before walking into the compound...then I saw this indian guy selling putu mayam (can tell by the box behind his motorcycle). To brighten myself, I thought of buying some for you because you like it. But I was an inconsiderate bastard as I ask the guy what I wanted...I was just so focused on getting it for you that I overlooked that the guy was injured. He fell off his motor somewhere and had wound at his finger and both his arms. His injuries were not only wound but internal injuries too as he can't lift his right arm. I was standing there..still waiting for him to serve (damn asshole right???aihz...I hate myself for that) but then I just walk into college trying to forget the idea that I want to buy putu mayam for you. But as I stepped in college, the guilt in me built so fast that I had stomach ache (So, I went and pass first). But honestly I was trying to forget about that person but it just got stuck...Afraid of being embarrassed that he might already leave when I bring the first aid kit, I hesitated so much.

But Tereessa was there to pest me that I should help him (*he was still sitting and resting at the bus stop*). So I did, dragging her along to the 5th floor to get the kit but we only found out that the room that has the kit is still lock. So, Michelle asked me to try out the student services at Ground floor...I did but they didn't have it. The student service said there's one on the 8th floor...blindly we followed her words and found out there was no one to help us (that level is more for part-time students)

Finally I got smart and remembered that the 4th floor was the nursing floor, definitely there's a kit and Ms. Lai to assist us. So we managed to only get cotton and yellow solution for the guy (*he was STILL at the bus stop this time...kesian la*). Well, I didn't exactly do anything to deserve the credit as Tereessa is the one who applied the medicine on the guy (I stood there as a dumb fellow). You came and didn't notice...but it was so nice to see you that moment...it lifted me.

After helping what we can...I felt so good and I was ready to face my day now...haha. Pity Tereessa hand was yellow because of the medicine. I went back and return the meds and got a small compliment...too bad la Tereessa, you didn't follow...but I'll state it here, you deserve it kayz

I had a slow noon during lunch which got my worries on my shoulders again but it wasn't hard on me as you were there with me. But the dreams still taunts me from time to time today...made me live in horrid fear for hours. Later... I went for James Bond but it was crap!!! censored!?!?!?! wasted my money only..though it was a long movie.

Before the movie by the way, saying goodbye to you was so hard....guess you know why as how I've stated above. On the other hand... Mr. S was so cool, he lifted my Costing sorrows man!!!! Man I wish for a million of him. I'll also meet Mr. W tomorrow for my Fundamental of Management paper focus topic.


I'm still sitting at the comupter lab now*with mixed emotions of my upcoming 2weeks*...I just chatted with Happy Allie today...haha, take care gal aights. I hope I can shirt into gear and really start on work...my emotions aren't my moving oil for me. I just helped someone with the college com..man..helping people relieves me so much about life. It's my life passion!!! but loving people..especially you, completes me.

I've Made Up My Mind

Well, November is really a disaster...put aside all the good things but it's not enough to make the sun shine on me this month. It's been awhile I blogged and let me say....I've made up my mind, I need to be taken away. I don't care whoever comes, DEATH?ANGEL? whoever....just take me away from this ache that I have.

It's like a paper cut where it doesn't look bad but it hurts so bad. Ya...it's true that this blog has become a depression blog, I won't deny that damn true facts about it. Everything I do is wrong, it doesn't please anyone...it's like I'm hurting them in one freaking way or another.

And those who just have to make it worst for me...thanks millions people, I owe one...BIG TIME. I can't blame them though..its not taught in kindergarten,elementary or high school. I'll remain my silence and keep this excruciating hemorrhage to myself. But when I need some one to talk to me and comfort me...it just doesn't happen...I've been offering so much sometimes and I didn't get anything in return. Serves the fact that I'm an asshole thats why I'm excluded from the "I should be good to this person" list. I'm still searching for someone who listen to my crap, that's why knowing new people everyday is such an important thing. People who I have, friends.....they start to fail...one by one, its like a damn plague moving across my life's perimeter. Hate it when it happens to me...I can't trust anyone anymore...When I really need to turn to them, they just fail miserably.

I'm 18 this month and guess what...I'm not having the time of my life! How I calm myself down this whole month? Is that I help people, offer myself to them whether I can lighten their burden anyhow...it's my dream achievement in life and I love doing it. Even giving donation to people makes me happy (don't care even if they turn out to be scam beggars)

Some things are should be left UNSPOKEN...that's so important everywhere...I've been hit with so many things that I needn't to know. Well, guess it's karma...And its the WORST when you get in right in the face....it happens so fast that you won't know what hit you. Getting that recently breaks me inside out, seriously...its traumatic, disturbing, unspeakable.

I've not been asking alot like a Christmas list, but all I want is things to go easy on me...and hope that people who are close to me...that really loves me...knows what I've been going through.

Broken shattered November- badly hurt and wounded.

I Feel Like The the Weather....*Rain & Storm*

That was what I messaged to a person when I was in a horrible moody state (31st October 2006, Tuesday, 1p.m.)

...Damn it has become a chronic tumour that eats every bit of my sanity everyday. And exactly last week...7days ago from today, I was blogging about my breakdown about the FA2 assignment, which left particles of me laying around everywhere....and 168hours later from that day...is here...now....which in between was many many bad eventful crap that I wish it didn't happen. Let aside the barring issue at the moment but I'm here sulking about my next 24 hours..I know I shyt tok no action alot...but here's the only place where I can express myself*though some are left unspoken and kept in*.

My dad just emailed me asking about my studies and giving lines that I least need at this very moment..aihz...I'm not in a tip top mood of ever replying him because of who I am right now, thus I just left him my blog address in the reply (if la he wants to know everything about his son...so...hello dad if you're reading this now). It almost made me cried in the com lab....again...for the 35383458329th time haha...Feeling so heavy...presence of friends really came into handy, although it was just a hello or the least an sms. Thanks to my china guy classmate(don't know his name), Semm, and Miss T who is now in the IT office at the moment...you guys don't know that you brighten a sad bloke's life.

Being like this sucks...but it's way far from death right? keke...sometimes I think its the wrong timing and I'm not ready. The best thing is that friends just have to disturb or give lines on the wrong day...its' not that I don't shoot back..but I feel it so deep, cuts every veins and arteries in me.*Is this a sign that I'm suicidal?...hahaha*(read too many suicide articles...like in the recent MYC magazine..keke)

Well...i'm fine ok....just disspresstion...haha what a word...I just need that little something that I ain't getting...wat...actually it's alot of things....I don't know which one now...Guess me being Vendeta will be the best for everyone...

THE GREATER THE TRUST, THE GREATER THE BETRAYAL
- Alexander Luthor

It's so true....I can't believe that line didn't fall in my life sooner. Now I'm just leaving by it...to a certain extend of course...Don't wanna be crazy...though in fact I am.....kind of...unstable...haha
Thoughts within me are so wired up...coiling to its unexpected ways that it squeeze my serenity out of me.

Miss H. still cares bout me...though it's a fraction..but that's cool...thanks!!! hope you have a brighter future after this*coughs coughs*. Sorry that I've complicated matters for you...Nice and kind hearted...though sometimes the approach is a little wrong. Miss your classes though you "curse" us to fail sometimes...=p All the best!!! =D

Pernahkah kuceritakan kepedihanku?
akan berakhir malam ini

Finally..I'm feeling better...haha....blogspot really does wonders. maybe it's also because of letting out my pee...=p
I'm out....
*location: computer lab, 3.23 p.m., alone, doing assignment,listen music[chasing cars!!!]*

Broken 21st...

Today was really slow and bumpy as I start my day as usual....by my own alone...eh wait...Joel and Tereessa were around to keep my sanity...I helped Joel with his assignments and played some stupid game with Tereessa that I became a Nursery teacher, Dog walker and Prime Minister based on my name...Though Tereessa laughed at me so much but she got the best job....PORNSTAR!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahaha....it was the bomb wei....killer!!!... Joel is a computer hacker though

It was lunch time and I didn't have my lunch till it was almost class due to the Student Council meeting. Draggy and distracted, I was yet to know that my day was about to come down crashing on me...Some things are unavoidable and I have managed it before...

But the worst part was getting a call from college saying I'm barred from exams because I'm late for classes and don't pay attention in class. I think that's the most ridiculous reason any damn Fucking lecturer can give towards a student. My attendence is full (though late once or twice) and I did my assignment (passed up on time), how can I be barred?
Even Ms. H, Ms. A, Ms. Ji,Ms. Je, Mr. S, Mr. U never barred me though I don't pay attention in class...why is this lecturer doing it? (the person's way of handling stuffs?...that's some style right there) and the best part was I wasn't barred though I was like this in the first semester with the same lecturer.

Appeal? ya....I have to do that of course or I'll die facing my narrow minded parents...I said it once, I'll say it twice...I'll say it here....what's happening between the lecturer and I causes this issue to arise...not anyone...NOT YOU. It started when class began on the 9th Oct...It just happen..that's all I can say and I still don't know what's the actual cause. I know it's partly me but I don't know what's that individual's perception. My situation might have affected the people around me...like my class buddy..I'm still yet to know about the other. Remember...it's not you..it's me....O yes!!! I used that line....haha finally!!! keke... funny-nya.

I shared the same lift with Ms. Janice just now...and said hi....haha...it's been so long since we communicated...=p *her class was honestly dreadful*

If I ache....I ache for you...
cadre qui câline un portrait - holding you everyday of your life.

Hanging By A Moment Here With You

This dreadful moment in my life isn't over...
Another 12 more hours and the verdict will out about my future this semester
But I'm not as down as yesterday,
Because this hard feelings in me have swayed,
To a place where it's dumped forever,
I sit here in this lab of computers,
Waiting for the moment...
Where I'm hanging by a moment here with you

You really took so much away,
From the day I know you till today,
You never fail to brighten my darken days,
Here without you I'm waiting,
To see a glimpse of your glitter eyes,
That no money can buy,
A touch of your delicate hands,
So fine as the beach's sand,
And mostly...
You...
A friend,
A saviour,
A person I can lean on
And keep my life going on and on

I'm still petrified of the moments ahead,
Would life just give me a summer break,
So I can runaway...
So far away...
To you I will say,
That no one can derail me,
Derail me from away from you,
Cause you are here,
Where I harbor you deeply,
In this heart of mine,
Whom no stranger can find


cadre qui câline un portrait

What I Found In This Town, I'm Heading For A Breakdown

so crushed,
so broken,
so shattered...

in this life in this town where I breakdown falling down to my knees begging for a saviour to take me away. I literally have given up hope, perished in my own mistakes with a knife spearing out of ill-feared heart.

I wish I' stronger...but I guess have to hold back all this to get it right. I shan't burden you with my miseries that cuts my wrist..causing me to bleed out all my confidence and strength.

Stranded in the blistering cold, like children in a building I can't stand steady, shall break this habit of being so down...drowning deeper every second I'm away from you.


At least you're around...cheering me up in a way I don't realise myself
someone who just hears...someone who I hear to too.
Though not on the same boat though the same journey but we still guide each other in a way that no words define.*sounds so compli but actually nothing wan...hahaha....*

There are some I just can't stand being near with: imbecilic no matter what their age...and just playing them flying around me...
Can't fend off these people as they affect me in 1 way or another if I do...
It sickens me, putting me off and block the sunshine of my day.

I'm still stuck with my Fucked up assignment which is due this Thursday...the Fucking lecturer just had to make it sound so hard...
Oya...for those who read my blog....my blog....my blog....remember that line...it's my Fucking blog and I would like to write whatever shit I want and you can't stop me!!! To approach me giving me those screwed up look and ask hanging questions as though I know what the Fuck you're asking.

I' still bleeding here...it's yet to stop and I have no one to seek attention from....only some IT students looking in from inside...This is me... I don't know how can you ever accept me in my current condition...it is so dark here. I wonder if you can find me...

As I look down at times in life...I see you picking my chin up again...holding my hand to stop this massive hemorrhage. If my hand is left by you...I wonder who else can stop it...it's really hard to see you g everyday..letting go of your comforting hands takes me out of my comfort zone...leaving me vulnerable to everything around me.




I'm stil so blur now... I just saw an advert on MSN saying "You snooze you lose"
damn...it's a very strong signal to me...It's like it's been slapped at my face straight!!!


You just came...taking so much away...I know I looked cold but your warmth kept my heart beating...=D feel that I'm breathing again! hope you really really know how much you mean to me.

Guess I shall stop. I actually typed more here rather than typing in my assignments!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regardless...

Man...I don't even have the appetite to eat right now. This semester still really sucks...education wise!!!
I've been really sharing it now...many times, many people...and yet...I'm still sulking over the same damn issue day after day. No one understands what I'm going through...NO ONE!!! though they claim they do but their just listeners not the ones who comforts me. It's really a mistake getting to close...now it's haunting all over me...even killing my blogging mood for so long.

I try to stay strong but I'm keep shattering myself every time I think of it...leaving me in a state of sour depression. Oya...speaking of blogging, I would like to thank my friends who gave me presents!!! keke....to dear Allie Mun and Joel Stephen...thanks alot...though it came late but still it made me so happy...1 donut and 2gear driving lessons...keke...so cool..haha.

Other than that...life has been fun in a certain way...to balance things off. Friends circle didn't really grow though but it strengthen alot.

like a rose that blossom in beauty...it's really been the finest in life. I really experienced so much where I learned the unlearned. Honestly, it has been bumpy throughout the whole journey so far but it's worth those cuts and bruises that eventually heal when love fills the air...

Guess I'll stop here for now...need to get back to my dreadful assignment life...Allie, if you're reading this...YES I'm as tension as you...maybe more k...

Ms. L .... cadre qui câline un portrait...you know where my heart belongs.

Sudah Berakhir Pencarian Hidupku....

Perempuanku

biarkan aku di sini untukmu
aku hanya ingin menghibur malam ini
malam yg pasti menyenangkan untukmu
dan tentu untukku

biarkan di sini aku bernyanyi
hanya untukku dan untuk menghibur kamu
dan aku yakin senyummu tulus dan jujur
hanya untukku


perempuanku engkau cintaku
tak mungkin bisa bila aku jauh darimu
bisa bila ku pasti sedih
ku cinta engkau
cinta pada perempuanku

semakin lama semakin ku tahu
maksud hati tak hanya mencintaimu
ku ingin habiskan hidupku
hanya untukmu

perempuanku engkau cintaku
tak mungkin bisa bila aku jauh darimu
bisa bila ku pasti sedih
ku cinta engkau
cinta pada perempuanku

ku cinta engkau perempuanku
perempuanku


-cadre qui câline un portrait-

Hard Week For a Soft Heart....

The week just started and the word "assignments" are always ringing in my ear. I'm Fucking fed up about all those and the lecturer is just one piece of shit...maybe lower than shit. You get what I mean...Adding some other worries I have...my own space, for my own life and my own feelings.

I feel like breaking the walls, throwing everything in front of me...my sarcasm was high, my heart beats faster, tears start flowing and I'm just broke....literally................................................................
I've no where to turn....as I'm facing south now.

I have a life where I'm boxed up in my own world...
I feel so fragile...more than you can ever think...My WHOLE life...I've been shattered so many times and people don't realize it. I gather my pieces, fix them back...just to let it be shattered again...

I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes

Like children in a building I can't stand steady

Fixing myself now with overdose of Numb/encore and Petrified.....heals me...
As I hear this comforting heavy tones...I feel that I'm alone...here....that the world is against me...hitting me in ways I can't never imagine....better stop...thinkin....byez...

Satu Hari, Hari Raya...

Finally I spend a night out with friends....though we didn't go clubbing but Izzat,Kayal, Steph and I went over to Syah's house for some feast!!!

But earlier in the day first of all, I spend my morning playing futsal with old friends...man I sucked so badly....even had a cramp during the game and my friends thought I was play acting...aiyoyo!!! Scored ONE goal only and ole a few (lucky I still have that skill bonded in me)...good enough for a day. But after the game, I strated to limp around since my right calf was injured after d cramp....

Back to the evening that I enjoyed...or should I say OVER-enjoyed!!!
The journey is the best as Izzat drove so pussily wild. It's so nice of you to pick me up and send me home...thanks bro...will spend you makan soon ya.
He picked me up around 6.40 and we reach around 7 something...haha...it was raining heavily and jammed all over. Not to mention the water that Izzat had to ran over.

Food was great!!! Though still no rendang but the sambal kacang, lemang, laksa and "dates juice" were nice! Even the kuih and chips were nice....the night out is just so nice!!!!! Today I really feel 18...wahaha...like small boy only right?

After that, we went outside and played crackers...haha, Syah with his tricks...so crazy...the gals were running into the house....especially the Prom Queen...ngek ngek ngek...
Then soon after the Prom Queen left...Izzat, Kayal and I left for home too....Man, Izzat is one very the forgetful person...

Keke....It's a perfect night out for someone like me....and some people.... =p =D keke...

Love it!!!! oya...one more thing...songs on the radio really ROCK!!!!! for today only la....haha

Music Video:

Music Video:

TGI Fridays...

Though When There's Class In The Morning...OMG It's Friday...


Hate that word?
ya...but live with it though...haha...still happy...smiling so happily...so joyful, ecstatic, cloud 9 plus 9!!!

haha...it's such a great day!!!Friday,Lots of it...flying in the air...
Slept in the cinema for the first time....haha. Covenant is just a normal movie but the sound system made it cool...

By the way...I wanna make a hello list on people I saw in Pyramid today...

Suet Yen (first to see)
Andrea (long time no see)
Ban Leng (cis...)
Ken (haha)
Judith (so cantik d ar you...)
Yap (ama....kadavale)
Patrica (didn't see me)
Darrick (didn't see me)

It's so fun...thought it was far enough to run from common friends...so the wrong wei but I got to meet old friends, that's so cool!!!


(love this soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!)

Some things just went bad...it just cost so much if you really want it good....
Thought it was ok...over but just 5 minutes ago...it rose again.
It worries, I know..please don't
It's okay, far from death...
I'm alive



cadre qui câline un portrait-FOREVER!!!

Sounds So Sacred, Feel So Magnified

It's Thursday....the day I hate most when it comes to studies...aihz....
but but....I always have someone to cheer me up...always...no matter how curt it is but it makes heaven on earth.

I have birthday card from a friend so far away..so unexpected....=p
thanks....

Birthday present wrapped in!!!! That's the best among all...I love it so much!!! It's been so long since I get present and cards from friends...

This year...my loved one loves me!!!! hehe... =D so the happiness!!!



(my prezzie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Really love it!!! It's so special...properly packed in...well...at least compared to some who don't know how....haha. I almost felt the tears of joy flowing down my cheeks...

It's also been awhile since I posted my own photos on my blog...The vanity is still around....always...keke



(My sis and I at Secret Recipe Kota Kemuning)


(After my haircut...)

I'm smiling again after how many emo post below this...haha....
Though I got stuffs to worry like what I saw today....crap...
Hope it doesn't dent me for tomorrow...
Feeling so happy!!!
=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D

Late Posting: 26 October 2006

Since my internet was down...here's a late posting

Double Dose of Starbucks to Lighten My Day That Sulks


Yesterday was my day out to Aunt Nikki's house to meet Aunt Nikki herself, her maid (surprisingly), Yee Won and Haire (Yee Won's boyfriend). It was fun as we really catch up each others life, politics and gossips. We even took photos…though it wasn’t as plan that we go to Secret Recipe during tea time but we really had a good time sharing all of our stories.

But my day wasn't complete though Aunt Nikki gave me an ang pau for my birthday...Internet connection has been bad lately and it really fires me up to screw the customer consultant...Speaking of that...better download my notes now....haha..

Today was just....downhill....I woke up and I thought today will be nice...after 6 hours of suffering...But I was wrong....By the way, thanks Syah for the Java Chip in the morning...really needed it...it made me cheer up and not sleepy in class...keke...Smiled with a lot of people but that was "just the moment" happiness. After class, Syah went back to Johor...leaving me alone so I drifted in Summit till the noon class started. But I was starting to go nuts again so I went back to Starbucks to get a Caramel Frap....damn, it wasn't nice. Back at class....It was ok because there were jokes to keep me sane enough but I really don't know how I survived 6 hours of class with the same lecturer. It's a miracle… guess someone was with me, tapping my shoulder telling me everything is going to be fine....Well, at least Semm was in the afternoon class with me.

After class, he left for home...so I'm alone again...and since I've got nothing to do till my mum pick me up....I decided to cut my hair to let go of my emo-ness too. So I went to a saloon (FIRST TIME) and get things done....The best part of my first time was that my stylist is a mute (special is the better word though). It is hard if you can't communicate directly with the stylist but I really respect him...though he's different but he can still live his life as a normal person. I doubted him for a moment but as he started....I trust my hair with this person and that calmed me down. TRUSTING a person is so important because the TRUST that you put into that person gives that individual strength and confidence to be better.

After that, I spend time with a friend sharing stories to clear the dark clouds above my head. But, my friend was also emo…worst…..over a break up but we still share stuffs and we laughed about some lame jokes.

I blogged this shyt few hours ago in the computer lab but it was gone suddenly...So I blogged this shyt again now with more details I guess...maybe too much...=p but also minus a little...

Well, guess I'll stop here... I'm done…



cadre qui câline un portrait...
If you fall, I fall along...

18 is Just Another Number...

Well...finally I'm 18...woohoo...ya.....right......shit.....nothing special happened today...

no loved ones,
no friends,
nobody!.....
I woke up hindering everything...I'm so alone the whole morning waiting for the Dell technician to fix this com which is working healthy now....I 'm so emo that sounded the people that I had to talk to....but now...I'm still at home....I'm going to college soon for a reason that I myself don't know.

Life is so shaky since last week and I can say....I'm having my November period now....still so emo............
while waiting for the tech guy...I was blasting songs....and every song in the cd made me worst...I feel trap in my own home on my birthday...


Lloré tanto desde que ayer. ..so mucho dolor en mí. ..I se siente una lanza por el corazón. Duele. wanna ..I oye esas palabras. ..but que lo parece hasta ahora lejos...

Il mio cuore la chiama cosí molto. ..so molto che potrebbe cambiare delle cose...


I'm feeling so stress also at the moment...with the workload and speaker that just turns me off.

I'm off to college soon I guess...hope it can heal me being there with friends.


-Broken-

Nothing can really fix me now...Zelfs niet wat ik echt wil. ..what ik wil pijn mij, die ik hem niet heb. ..it doodt mij...

Ik ben een stervelinge ook...


Thanks to all my friends that message me even from 3 a.m. in the morning. Really miss you people...hope we can meet up soon...I feel much better letting it out in my blog...finally..I'm online again......I feel lighter now....But I'm still very deep down...


me prendre. ..I've a été l'attente. ..always volonté. ..though le soleil pourrait régler juste



first foreign-where matadors come from
second- where pizza come from
third- first thing that came to my mind are windmills

there I go...an update...thanks to my fans...so bloody concern wan....keke.....k...I'm off....



cadre qui câline un portrait

REALLY Hate this Semester!!!

Emo again....
aihz....This semester is so torturing....OB has 2 killer coursework and the first one is out!!!...my Deeparaya holidays are gone!....woo woo.....suckynya...
Lucky I have Syah,Semm and other friends who can make class interesting and easier..haha. And you for that extra boost to start my day. =)

Hmm...bout today...I went Parade alone though...but was in the bus with my friends...first time...haha...There were also other first time stuffs when I was in Parade, keke...Took me so long to like to buy the stuffs I wanted but I finally got the guts to. It might be a small thing for other people...people might laugh but...I did it...come to think of it....nothing special also...

It's Friday tomorrow and I'm still gonna have class tomorrow!!! morning class...OB...aihz
And on the 3rd day of Hari Raya...my class is as usual but my friends class are cancelled or postponed...so they have no class at all next week...aihz...gonna be so empty...imagine my classmates also won't turn up...Somebody save me!!! but hope next friday futsal is on!!!

Shock of My Life

When Sarah said that lift no.4 was just playing haunted in SEGi College, she was purely wrong... It's just some malfunction with the stupid life that SEGi used for operation....one of the slowest!!! Even the condemn lift in Summit is way faster than the college's.


Lift No.2 gave me the fright of my life today, shocking me so badly till I almost drop dead in the lift. So people...beware of lift No.2......


keke...

October's PMS is Over....I Think =P

As how emo I got yesterday....guess it's over due to the lack of sleep. Yesterday night I crashed on my bed at 10 till 5.30 in the morning. Got up and had the most WONDERFUL DAY! I forced myself to do my accounting homework. My day was filled with stars and sunshine...I'm smiling throughout the day....not on the outside but on the inside!!!

I may not stand on clouds but I'm feeling it when I'm in your arms.
I may not have a million dollars but I'm happy cause you're priceless.


cadre qui câline un portrait

I Can Fall Asleep With Those Eyes.

Morning was boring-Class was dreadful-I had a good time during lunch break-Best time of my life-Enjoyed every moment-Wish it was longer-Back to class-Lecturer is an Ahole-Fuck my mood-Gotten damn emo-Miss you like crazy-Since morning-Noon-Now-Every minute I think of you-But still emo-Stupid Ahole-Feeling empty-Still miss you-Like crazy-It hurts to be me sometimes-People I have to please-People I have to respect for nuts-Talk to people I least fancy-Why?-Sitting in com lab here next to another gal friend who is also emo-Makes things when we look at each other like shit-Friends all left for home after class-Leaving me in this white building-So painful-So lonely-The friend next to me one is as down as me...so no use la...haha-Still feel guilty because I didn't help you enough-I lack the confident-Wish I have it with me all the time and you won't be seeing what you saw today-I know I shouldn't be down about it but I can't help it-I don't want you to be left behind-To my boss, sorry I drifted so much-Wasn't paying attention-Was emo-Haha-Drifting is the better word-Keke-Hope the phone beep soon-I miss you-Oya..just remember!-Both of you-wanted stuffs but forgotten bout it-Sorry cause I didn't help you ith the book, my friend....aihz.....-And you-Make me carry so heavy for nothing-I even set a reminder to remind myself to bring it-Why am I so good to people?-I don't get the same warmth from them back-So cold...like my room last night when the air con was on-Lost sister's SIM card-So careless of me-Must be I was thinking SO MUCH this morning-Still feeling cold-But I'm still feeling a little warmth from the time where the sun shine the brightest-I feel an amber in me-I'm embracing it-Keeping it-Not letting it to go off-I can fall asleep with those eyes-


cadre qui câline un portrait

Friday 13th....everything went FINE!!!

Hmmm, Random mag is giving me work again...wa....really can't take it anymore despite the rewards that might be obtained. College timetable also sucks where I see the same lecturer 3 times in the space 27 hours. Homework also have been given by cartons!!! My new class area on the second floor is so cold and it's energy consuming.

Today...Friday, I started of my than with OB class....Obviously Boring class wei...haha. Well, I survived it and treat myself with a game of bowling but I played like shit today...scoring only 68. Hmmm, after that..I went for a movie, John Tucker Must Die. It's a cool show and I enjoyed it. =)
Finally some pleasant movies at the cinema. But guess I won't be watching much as my timetable is so jam-packed now*quoted from Allie Mun* keke...

After movies, treat myself somemore...now at Secret Recipe. haha...man...their cakes never fail to melt me...keke. That's bout the HIGHlights of my day....got to go...man, I'm so sleepy.

Life...what was it again?

What is it really about?
Since high school...I got to know many people with a different famliy than mine. They tend to share it and I listen. But as years go by, it keeps getting more & more...Is this part of my life?

As good as I can be to them, sometimes they don't realise that they're actually letting out on me. I've been so tolerate with these people but they couldn't care less bout what I feel as they felt worst...so..to them, it's just a pinch of salt. My first experience dated way back when I was form 1...being an so called good angel? doesn't really pay off especially when you try everything you can but they just don't notice a shit. All they know is that...o...that guy...I know him, He's Daniel.

So...should I continue befriending and helping them? My heart automatically tells me...go on (though I'm hurt sometimes) cause I feel God send me here for this (Part of it la at least). I love the friends I have in my life now cause they made my life so much more fun (though there's pain included).

Why am I blogging this out? Partially emo I guess...haha...but I had to let it out.
haha....kinda confusing la this life....ishhh...

New Day, New Semester, New Feeling...

Well..today was hazy as usual..Fucking Sumatera people..just because of a few hundred of natives...they're hurting millions of more worthy people that contribute to the economy and the country..To me, these nomad must be killed for good!

Ok..back to life in college...hmm, orientation was a little later so I attended 1 hour of class first. It was Malaysian Studies....haha...Mr. U, funny and fun to kutuk him =P too bad I couldn't stay the whole class. But during orientation, Emily came late so I was handed the responsibility to give a talk on Clubs & Societies. Man, I bullshit alot...haha...Later, I made the biggest mistake by stepping up to take the new FOCAD students around (it was so hard!!!) but I did get to know new friends (as usual...haha....coz I'm Daniel ma).

Then it was noon...Financial Accounting (2) class where Ms Shyamala taught us. I almost slept in her class and got hit for it...haha...




k la...com givin a lil problem and dad wanna use the com..till later people

Best Stressful Days of My Life

Life has been so fun lately though I've been going college during HOLIDAYS (which is ending this Sunday). My brother Joel, my friend Ryan, my boss Emily & Sarah, and you have all make my so much more meaningful.

I have a friend who ate another friend's spit, friend who make good jokes, friend who company me, friend who spend time with me, friend who argue with me...and lots more.


(bloody gays....what's so nice jumping on me la?)


Though my holidays are so wasted on work...but I feel its much more worth it than sitting at home rotting.

There's too much to tell and if I were to type all, it'll take ages and I don't have a blogging diarrhea like Joel. I've kinda lost the blogging mood these few days, man...September is my blogging month!!!


(lil I-Lyn...and me)

O ya..the best part is that my mom's colleague wants to get to know me...how weird...but I can't turn down a new friend right? On the other hand, she's connected through my mom... a wrong mistake in words can get into hot soup.

Life's has been good to me so far and I'm loving it!!!
It's worth the work,
It's worth the sacrifice,
It's worth it!!!
I'm loving.....

Pictures Tell The Tale of Today

My day begin as normal when I waited my mom to send my sister to school.


(7.22 a.m.)

Not long after, I was opposite college...before I crossed over, I prayed...hoping I could get through this day calmly. After that, I was at my usual area waiting for my brother Joel...haha


(8.16 a.m.)

Then my day really started when my meeting with Bruce started. But before that, KC pulled me a side to have a short chat about something "important". After my meeting, when I was on my way to Summit, I clashed with Emily where she started to scold me because I was "MIA". To make it worst, I got advices that I didn't need.

Later, I was back in college decorating the 1st floor for the night event. Man...it was so boring and I felt so empty.


(3.02 p.m.)


(4.37 p.m.)(was so bored)



(5.25 p.m.)(still bored...)

Most work was done and I got into my vain day gear mood and decided to climb up at the SEGi college exterior to take some pictures








terrible huh...haha

Soon it was seven...and the event started, lucky draw was fun but I thinking about something else throughout the whole event....I worked alot, I guess I was the last SC member to eat...and the food left were so little...sad *sob sob*


(9.01 p.m.)(gazing past...)


Finally I'm home enjoying being online blogging my hardest day this year. *happyly moody*

When I Least Suspect It...

Hmmm, I started of my day today by waking up of course but when I was in the car waiting for my sister before she go to school, my mind drifted as I look at the clear sky...



I couldn't get a short shut eye as I do every morning...so I decide to take pictures with my mom and sister.


(keke...acting macho next to sis)

(haha...my mom...)

Then I spend my usual morning talking to my brother Joel then I had off for my college magazine work with Editor Sarah. But before that, my mind was still drifting and I thought of this song...

"I know you're shining down on me from heaven"





I couldn't believe that it took me almost three hours to compile everything for Random magazine...from cover page till the end. Took a break in between though, went for a quick lunch then came back to work with a stomach ache. Sarah and I finished work around 2p.m. and we head to 5th floor to get things print.

While getting this printed, we head to Summit to watch a movie "THE WICKER MAN" led by Nicholas Cage, damn it was a SICK movie....guys....don't watch it with a gal that you're about to dump k....haha(you'll get yourself killed)
[o ya...Sarah...thanks for the Coke and the ticket k, didn't expect that...thanks lots!!! very the generous Editor]

After the movies, we bumped into Joel and Ryan, they dragged us to bowling...haha...I tell you...NO ONE was at the bowling alley. *BOREDOM*

Not long after that, Sarah and I head back to college to see our work. I compiled all the new material again and properly. Working with Kathy and gang up there is so much fun, so much jokes. Love the environment there and hope they won't shift off when the new Damansara campus opens.

Water Always Finds it's Own LeVeL

Finally everything subsides and I feel rather better today. That includes the 2-0 win that was achieved by Arsenal against Porto earlier this morning.

Well, someone has been catching up on my blog lately and throwing back lines at my face. Aihz...
But it's ok because it's a sunny day from now.

Oya....now I remember what I really want to blog today. It's so funny...Ms Shyamala scared the abra kedabra out of me when I was fooling with the staff's photocopy machine (she thought I wanna use it) and she went on with a sharp tone. Joel was there also and we were burst into laughter. Then after that, Joel, Ken, Boon and I were doing some food cocktail where we mixed chili sauce, honey, sugar, tea, coffee, milk and watermelon juice. Damn it smell so bad, just like Joel's fart(he having some fart marathon today)

Now I'm in the library blogging this I don't really wanna disturb Joel & co. studying...haha.

Thanks Ash & Ems...

Thank you thank you...you're far too kind...

keke, I'm listening to it now while blogging this to thank my friends who took my emoness out of me by taking me out the sick college who people think I got some thing for it...like so called having a "father"
STOP THAT FUCKING STATEMENT KAYZ HCTIB!!!

Well, as for Ashley and Emily...they brought me to Metro college to "sell" tickets for Mooncake Festival. I really enjoyed the fresh air there but the food sucks to the MAX..haha didn't turn out to do that but land up washing eye only. haha...kena scold from Emily coz of doing it.

Later...we head of to Asia Cafe to eat....(Emily la...like pig ni...haha...leaving up to her nickname). My damn can of Coke cost me RM 1.80...damn the expensive!
Then I met my old buddy Samuel, damn handsome already...saw Chatichai, Thinisya and Diana Lim(My so called first love in primary school...haha)...

It was nice to get away from the circle I'm in now and go back to what I enjoyed back in high school. Starting to miss you guys now!!!

~Shu Fei(sister),
Garrett(brother),
Mun Hong(ketua Ponteng),
Win Tsen(Stupidly Smart Philosopher),
Amir Tan(laughing box),
Samuel(joker),
Jayso(Dumb Funny),
Rakesh(sarcasmic),
Joanna Liow(my part time chatting friend),
Li Sher(just lily),
Preetvinder(my assistant in class),
Deeviana(CNN reporter),
Suet Yen(crabby Lobster),
Yee Won(bluffer!),
May Ling(wanting...),
Cassandra Foo(all guys want gal),
Claryn Kung(beruk amfibia),
Nicholas Ting(best tuition buddy),
Wei Cheng(super mong cha cha[blur]),
Hannah(sepak kaki sparing partner*wait a minute...the other kaki partner I have now was also a Sri KL student*)~

You all cross my mind...miss you people though I've met some recently!!!!!!!

Though I still feel halfly heavy now but the memories with you guys lifts it up!!!

Rather Blogging Than Writing More In Exams

I'm finally FREE!!!! from exams at least but not from personal problems and workload...aihz...really must try to learn to see the on the bright side.

Well, since I was in love once till now...I've been writing about life or love for the free composition and I just did it AGAIN just now.

The title was "what is love?"
I started it of with a song lyric and ended it with a short poem.
wahaha...but I didn't concentrate on my paper just now because I was distracted by a line. ishhhh....that's what that got me here blogging again.

Well, wish me all the best this week....cause it'll hell...btw..thanks Ms M Cubic for your message.

Literally...It's A New Day Today.

Well, I was blogging my emo life out few hours ago but I'm feeling much better now(after crying myself to sleep). Thanks to a friend who was so called a listener. Man she talks alot actually (no offense la k). But after a long conversation, I remember lots of things I'm doing wrong, priorities....and God especially. Thanks for reminding me of what I've been blurred of.



It's 1 a.m. now and Champions League is an hour plus away and exams is like 7 hours away. But hell with it...I'm letting go of what's kept within me for awhile.

I called and it was the wrong time.
*sorry*

I message but you didn't reply.
*it's ok but I needed someone to talk to and you're one of the only college friend I know I can talk to though I might be mock by you...haha*

I called and you listened to me...what my old high school buddy Cassandra said is true...friends are sweet but new friends are sweeter.

Well, meeting a new friend is such a fun thing to do though...especially online because it's hard to trust people these day. But among the friends that I've picked out online, they're all nice people that I can talk to and trust, like my first pet sister May Ling. I've known her in September 2004 and now we're like brothers and sisters.

Thanks again...hope to see you soon.

It's Getting Better...Hope it Stays That Way

I got home, bathed and spend some time in my room letting out my emotions...now I'm feeling better though there are still thoughts in my head.

Now, I'm just surfing the net for songs and I uploaded my new vain photos.
I'm still not feeling right...but thanks to my pet sis and and Ms. M cubic, I feel a little better than just now.

I almost breakdown in the car next to my un-open minded mom...thanks May Ling...you saved me today.



I've got nohting much to say...
-je vous veux

Emotional snowball...

It's was business math exams just now and I know I'll flunk it as I didn't do much.
But that's not what is making feel weirdly sad and emo.
I was also in dilemma about my subject registration....Stupid SEGi, want money only....

I'll have a bad week this week as my holidays are all eaten up and the person who's making me wake up everyday isn't around me.

After exams, take care of the mooncake festival booth for 5hours...both Tuesday and Wednesday.
Thursday, I'll have college magazine presentation along with my editor.
Friday....Leo rehearsal and Mooncake Festival night itself.
Saturday...Leo installation.

Where is my own life?
where I can spend it with you?
Really feel so broken now, but I'm in the IT Lab...still in college...I KNOW...NO FUCKING LIFE RIGHT?!?!
some of the people I know says that and some are least bothered to...(forget it)
I really wanna cry...say I'm a sissy but I'm a person in touch with emotions....that's why always emo!

Life is so screwed if you choose the wrong path...
well, I think I did...and it's costing me hell!


*I need you...you may not know about it but I really do...[tears are almost flowing out{most emo post ever so far in my blog}]. I...I...I...I'm lost now...nothing matters more than what I feel now,not the Champions League tomorrow morning,not the joy of the last day of exams,not the holidays that are given...it's all on you...freak out you'll be I know...maybe I shall stop being who I really am for awhile. I'm working so hard for it for the first time...and time is what I'm opposing now. me donner un signe*


Friends are so distant when I need them as I've neglected them at the wrong time like how I did last time. College or old buddies...aih....at least I have a new brother that I can speak my mind to.Thanks J...haha..we kinda share the same initial huh...


Feeling so distant...
petrified...
numb...
lost...
broken...
wasted...

~*sentir que le besoin aime*~

I Have Bad Day, Take it One Down...Sing A Sad Song Just To Turn iT Around.

Hey..it's marketing exam today...It was mentally difficult as the question was set as a single 20 marks question. I manage to finish the paper despite spending almost half drifting in thoughts...but without those thoughts, I don't think I can finish the paper today...I almost gave up. You gave me hope and strength to carry on... Despite conquering the whole paper with a sweet and sour success, my day still wasn't at the top of the world. I felt something is missing within me.

Even bowling and chess with friends made me look worst...played so badly coz I couldn't concentrate well. Till now I'm still rotting in college feeling partially emo right now.

Suddenly this line crossed my mind.."Broken hearts do mend"
Maybe it's because I'm feeling broken now...
It's 3p.m. and I'm stuck in the com lab blogging *so not the place I wanna be now*
******************************************
You took my heart away,
when my whole world was grey,
you gave me everything...and a little bit more
and when it's cold at night,
and you sleep by my side,
you become the meaning of my life
******************************************

Damn Izzat just had to play it...now it's playing in my head over and over again.
I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT MY HOLIDAYS ARE ALL TAKEN UP BY ACTIVITIES!!!
FUCK....

Now I'm feeling double the emo and I don't know why I don't stop like blogging now.
Is it wrong to be involve?
Is it wrong not to change?

This feeling in me right now has been harassing me for quite a while and the last time it happen was like last year?...
Do I need it?
It's making me sick sometimes and I can't take it keeping it in me.
Is it worth it? "oh...definitely...IT IS"

Maybe I really need a good night rest..or better a chat with some who can piece the "at the moment broken heart" of mine.

******************************************
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
******************************************

FEATURE ENTRY: *Joel Stephen*

Man....time really do pass very fast.... The last time I wrote a feature entry was for Kayal early August but now it's almost end of September and I almost forgot bout the Feature Entry...haha

K K..Listen up people coz my brother from another mother is a Malaysian Cheap-Lak of lima puluh sen....(50 cent)...haha

Damn, I also can't remember how I got close to this guy...Hmmm, through Ryan the Chipmunk I guess. This Man Utd and Ferrari fan...keke...Man Utd LOST WEI!!!! huhu....
well, we're totally opposite in sports...I'm an Arsenal and McLaren fan. We shit talk to each other alot. We have mouth diarrhea every morning.

Funny dude, drives damn cun...on virtual cars only....real life dunno la. Strong guy also...Fully evolved human.



Best thing is...I spend 2hours of my life helping him to build his new blog and he's the one who inspired me on changing my blog title to "Soft Nougat & SweeT Creamy Caramel" based on someone...keke...thanks bro!

That's just a little bit about my brother here. -Peace-

Unrealiable!!!

Can't believe you wei....aihz....
yes la I SHOULD remind you....but you....just went home like that....
ish! say I'm sellfish la...tsk...whatever la


want things done...we really GOT TO DO IT OURSELVES!!!

Lines That Part the Ocean

I can't sing a love song like the way it's meant to be
- Bon Jovi (Always)

What hurts the most,
Was being so close
- Rascall Flatts (What Hurts The Most)

I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around
- Baby Face (Nobody Knows It But Me)

Cause there's a little bit of something me in everything in you
- Matchbox 20 (If You're Gone)

I lose sleep just to daydream about you baby...
- K-Ci & Jojo (Crazy)

Tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu...
- Zainal Abidin (Puteri)

Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
- Manbai (Kau Ilhamku)

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
- Keith Urban (Making Memories Of Us)

Promise me tomorrow starts with you
- James Blunt (High)

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
- Daniel Bedingfield (I Don't Want To Run Away)

Thats the way you make me feel...
- Ronan Keating (The Way You Make Me Feel)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
- Patti Symth (Sometimes Love Ain't Enough)

I dont know much,
But I know I love you
-Aaron Neville (Don't Know Much)

I'll be captivated...I'll hang from your lips
- Edwin Mccain (I'll Be)

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies...
- Maroon 5 (She'll Be Loved)

With you baby, it never rains
- Babyface (Everytime I Close My Eyes)

Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes...
- Teddy Geiger (For You I Will)

All I've got to give to you,
Are these five words when I,
Thank you for loving me
- Bon Jovi (Thank You For Loving Me)

Everything she does is beautiful,
Everything she does is right
- Lifehouse (You And Me)

I need you like I've never needed anyone before
- Firehouse (I Live My Life For You)

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
- Mariah Carey (One Sweet Day)

Your love is like religion...
- Keith Urban (Raining On Sunday)

Lovings such a beautiful thing
- Bee Gees (Too Much Heaven)

Baby, if I told you the right words,
Oooh, at the right time,
You'll be mine
- Boyzone (Baby Can I Hold You Tonight)

That I love you,
I have loved you all along,
And I miss you,
Been far away for far too long,
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
- Nickleback (Far Away)

We shared a moment that will last 'till the
end...
- James Blunt (You're Beautiful)

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
- Lifehouse (Blind)


We've had our doubts but now we're fine
- James Blunt (Goodbye My Lover)

Sing it With Me...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,
That don’t bother me,
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out,
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while,
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me,
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok,
But that’s not what gets me,

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

You, Me and Dupree

It's the best!!! Love watching it.... =)

This is Finally it!!!

Heart pumps faster
Mind drifts far
All you think is that one thing...

What could it be?

The last time I felt that was like a year ago but that was ancient hsitory. Today, I felt it again...this time it's stronger. You are the one who finally fills that spot to complete me. You're different from the others, you're special and "honestly"...you're difficult in a special way.

I learn alot since I know you,
I believe I've change from who I was,
I don't really repeat the silly mistakes again,(keke)
I've grown with you by my side.

Don't wake me up when September ends...
I know I've said it's the most suckiest month in my life but now (as I least expect) it's been great to me. I hope everyday of September is a day spent properly.

Michael Bolton once sang:
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends

Back then it was all fights but not that much anymore. Maybe I'm just overfeeling it but I think this is worth it. May not be selected but really hope not rejected...

I don't want this semester to end...it's too fast.

*emo and can't study....wanna cry!!!*

Memorial....September 11

It was about 11 p.m. at night when my friend rang me up. I was on the bed already but wasn't asleep. So I rushed down to pick up the phone, he told me there's some aeroplane hitting a buliding in the US.

I switched on the television and watched it with my dad as he was reading newspaper. It was TV 2 if I could really remember but it was showing a CNN feat. I only got to saw the second plane hitting the World Trade Center. Moments later the building started to collapse (both the buildings)

But two days before that, it was my grandmother's funeral. I'd witness many lost that week...September hasn't been the best month in my life as I said earlier. May God be with those who perished on that day. Condemn the act of terror of these terrorist.



SEPTEMBER 11 - video powered by Metacafe

Dine But no Wine...worst...without you tonight

Damn I'm so full now, ate so much today...my dad's paprik chicken is NICE!!! I'm so gonna learn how to cook it. BUt earlier in the day I went to the famous House of Fishball at SS15 to eat kuey teow soup where the fishball is super nicely done. Later,I was in Summit to send my sister to her piano class along with my family. Wow, it was happening because the Ragnarok Online fest was there. But I decide something better...SECRET RECIPE!!! haha... Got a chocolate indulgence...damn it was so filling.


(I know you want it!!! haha...)



(what la my dad tak tahu to hold the camera properly...)


Though I wasn't into online games, but its not wrong to take photos with the models around...haha. After all those, I head home for dinner at Tu Fonda. I really wanted to know what they offer as I've heard that is one of the KK's chick's dad's shop..haha (I don't know how it relates)


(YUM! 7/10)


I craved the creamy pasta family thingy...It was not bad but Pizza Hut's one is still the killer. I gotta go bath now...there's F1 on the tube now and I wanna watch Lake House later..finally I got the clear DVD...

*miss you already*
*end*

Emofied!!! Day Three

When i thought i'll have noone...
I found you,
red shows your elegance,
yellow shows you're striking...
Put 'em together,never let 'em shatter...
Coz its the unique you i'm seeing

it's not love,
it's not a crush,
but thinking of you gives me a rush...

I'll turn to you when I'm blue,
for you are the only one so true

no matter how far apart,
I hope my feelings for you is thicker than blood.








*standing far away from you*

Emofied...Day Two

I started my day on a normal mood when I went back to my high school to have a chat with my old teachers. It's was fun to see my old school again though...haha. Damn the computer lab keyboard sucks!!!Damn hard to blog here with the retarded spacebar.

College life has become more sucky by the day as I just finish an extended 3 an half hour class. But earlier before that, I just had to have some ASS to spoil my day. It was badly dented by noon after the dull meeting for Clubs & Societies.

There were also rumors about me...Damn, my life in college is not peaceful at all.

Maybe I'm just thinking so much that I decide to blog my heart out right after class. Well done friends!!! Keep it up though....you're doing a great job. Oya...I haven't eaten my lunch!!! Maybe that's why I'm emo (NOT!!!)

Soon I'll be home facing my parents...cause I fought with my mom yesterday. It has not subside... But my ulcer finally is....that's the only bright side of the day though.

Another 6 hours to sleep....wonder what can happen within that period of time.

Emofied and Dilemmarific

Hate it when people don't mean what the say. It plucks the Fucking nerve out of my skin!!! I don't care if you're someone I like or love or have a crush on or someone important or someone I need to respect. Bloody Bastards...go to hell good for nothing talking shit crap talkers!

Why must I suffer from all these negative crap when my exams are coming. Put aside my emo feelings but being in a dilemma sucks like crap also. I really feel like giving up on college sometimes because of all these crap I have to go through. I'm so really stuck in the middle of everything I want in life. Some things gets worst and some gets so good to believe that I feel so blank.

Day started fine and went a little upwards during bowling but went down all the way till evening. Till now, I still so shitty...I argued with my mom till I got so angry till a picture of my F'in ex with her bf cross my mind. I nearly went BERSERK...




I hope with tonight's sleep everything dies off. I'm seriously like a spinning compass now.

31st August to 3rd Sept. New Horoscope: PetSisters

Since 2004, that time of the year is the time where I spend the most time with my pet sisters. For 2004 itself, I got to know a new pet sister(on 1st September 12 a.m. onwards...keke) till it created a misunderstanding with my girlfriend that time. To her, having a pet sister is when you can't woo the gal...so the guy will just settle as a "brother". But at that time when I knew May Ling, she was a gal who was down and needed support from someone...there was when we got to know each other. To know more about this, do go to my love story blog to read more about it.

This 2006, I spent my Merdeka eating Korean food with one of my closest pet sister (3 posts below this post...do read it). It was a time we reunited to celebrate her birthday and catch up with life.


(my right eye cacat already la...smaller one side wan)

On the 3rd September, finally I got to meet my pet sister who turns to me when she has problems(not easy to calm her wei...haha).


(at Haagen Daaz Mid Valley...)

But sadly she arrived late, allowing us to talk for like about...say...20 minutes only? really hope to go out with her again =P
She's only 14 this year and she's as tall as me (damn I'm short). Due to her "punctuality", I did a little shopping because it's the last day of Mega Sale. I was short of cash and only got one T-shirt
(there was another nice wan k...so sad...*sobbing*).


I also met my old friend Yee Won. She came all the way from home to Mid Valley just to print photos...When she came up to meet me, she said that she wants to leave for home already. I did follow her out to the bus stand along with her friends(her friends questioned me ALOT...scary...=/) to catch up with stories. Haha...that's about my 1st three days of September...gotta sleep now. Got a study group tomorrow... ='(